Day Two: Pain


 Hey everyone. (Or rather, anyone that reads this.) It's been a bit since I made my first post and a lot has happened since. Flash backs, C-PTSD, panic attacks... no one tells you how debilitating those things are. Doctors prescribe medications. Therapists tell you all you need is coping mechanisms and to talk about it. Friends are sorry for you. Your family says to get over it. Even people who have been through similar traumas or experience similar problems... no one says how hard it is.. Or maybe they do. Maybe it's been said for so long that no one bothers to listen anymore. No one bothers to care because it's like beating a dead horse. How many times can someone scream: "HEY, THIS HURTS!!" before people stop listening to it. DID isn't something I asked for. It isn't something I want to have to deal with. It isn't something I wished for. DID is hell. DID is terrifying. DID is complicated and frustrating and painful. DID is not something I would wish on anyone... I don't have control over what I do; Where I go; The things I say; The people I meet; The conversations I have; None of it. I don't even get to remember it.. That's some of the worst kind of mental fuckery I can think of.

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